Dave’s Kinky Blog

An early post of Dave’s captures the uncertain moments many of us who engage in loving D/s have:

Confession time, when Am & I started out with experimenting with kinky sex again a couple of years ago, it took me a very long time to get past the feeling that it was wrong and that I shouldn’t have the sort of desires that I was having. This was because of an initial experiment with BDSM with Am at a point when neither of us were really emotionally ready for it, and I pushed her limits far too far and far too quickly. It almost wrecked our marriage, and it took a long time for me to be able to look at that side of my sexuality again and not feel a mixture of remorse, guilt and deep shame.

I still have a nagging voice in my head that spanking her to dispel bad feelings at the start of a row to stop it escalating and let us talk “is just domestic abuse”, even though it’s something that she initially requested and we both want to do! I guess that while I have no problem caning or spanking her in play, I have a lifelong conditioning that “you do not raise your hand to a woman” to work through when it comes to applying my “Head of Household” role to stopping a row.

“Randomness” – Dave’s kinky blog

Originally posted 2006-05-18 07:40:02.