My Beautiful Submission

rivka writes about respect, rules and communication:

Well, I had a plate of food and a drink and had gone out to sit on the porch with some friends. I set a chair up next to the railing so that I could use it as a sort of table. Since he was somewhere in the house doing something or another, it didn’t even cross my mind to sit to where I could be on his right or directly facing him (one of our rules).

So, he comes outside and instead of sitting in front of me next to the railing, he sits off in one of the chairs to my far right tells me to get up and go over there. I didn’t want to because that meant picking up my plate, glass, and chair after I’d gotten all situated, but I did it. However, I pushed my chair kinda hard and it flipped over. He thought I was throwing a fit (which I didn’t realize till later) and so he frowned at me and asked me what my problem was. I said, “Not a thing,” or something to that effect pretty sarcastically even though I wasn’t really mad.

I continued eating and chatting, then he started being smart alec about some things. So I joined in. Then all of a sudden, he told me seriously, “Stop being smart alec.” in front of all those people… after he was being just as smart alec? I thought we were just joking? So I stared at him and asked, “Why? You were just doing the same thing?” And he told me to stop it again and started glaring at me. I was pretty confused, but I stopped and tried to change the subject and move on. Unfortunately, he thought I was blowing him off. Not long after, he left.

Come to find out, he was just trying to stop the joking before it became disrespectful and he didn’t mean to publically humiliate me. And when he asked me to move, he didn’t think there was room for him to sit between me and the next person sitting along the rail.

*sigh* So you see… miscommunication. There are a few more details, but I didn’t want to bore y’all to death. It took a couple hours for us to straighten that all out. By the time we talked, I was pretty upset. The fear that if I “let” him he’ll be my dad all over again started creeping in. I was feeling like he was being lazy and pushy with the chair thing, double minded and cruel with the public reprimand, and uncaring when he left. Little did I know he was feeling a lot of things from his viewpoint as well; especially disrespected. I’m fairly certain it wouldn’t have been as big a deal had I not already been dealing with my dad’s mood swing over the weekend.

My Beautiful Submission

Originally posted 2006-07-13 09:06:35.