Spiral Submissive

Spiral Submissive writes about the nature and role of humilation:

The purpose of humiliation is not to harm or injure the sub, but rather make her stronger in a safe way. Humiliation can be a tool to let her explore herself outside social constructs. This happens because the sub has put herself in the Dom’s hands, and trusts him to take care and not harm her. Before humiliation can happen, that trust needs to be solid. The Dom needs to feel that he knows the sub well enough that he won’t take her into a harmful place, such as unwittingly unearthing a mental harm (such as abuse) that will make the sub feel hurt and her trust broken.

If the Dom wishes to humiliate his sub, he needs to discuss it with her to make sure that she fully understands what is expected, and to makes sure that there isn’t a glaring negative response that arises. If this does happen, it needs to be explored in a context other than humiliation.

Humiliation can happen anywhere, around anyone. What matters is the sub’s reaction, her embarrassment, the realization of the act, and what really happens when she is forced to do something that she feels is embarrassing. However, if the humiliation is happening around others, they either have to be fully aware of what is happening (such as being around other D/s couples) or be unaware of the sub’s embarrassment.

Out of humiliation, a sub can gain a better understanding of her true nature, of the power that she has given over, and of the relationship that she has with her Dom. The Dom can have a better understanding of his sub.

Spiral Submissive

Originally posted 2006-06-22 14:37:56.