Soc Subculture Bondage BDSM

BDSM discussion on the internet pretty much began on soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm. And some good people still participate.

Wolf Whitewater asks a question of fetish etiquette:

I find myself in a situation where I am (happily) beginning a brand-new relationship. We’ve talked online for about three months, had our first Coffee Meet tonight (which went splendidly) and are planning our First Official Date for later this week. Things are going great, you say? What’s the problem, you wonder?

Well . . . this Saturday I have obligations to my local community that will be discharged by attending an invitation only function. I can’t get out of it. I’d like to bring the New Guy with me to the function, which will most definately include play, though it’s in a separate area of the space. The invitation is for self and ‘guest’ so I know that bringing my new gent won’t be an issue from that standpoint. However, I am unsure how to bring this up to the New Guy.

Anybody have any ideas on this? What’s the proper etiquette for saying to your new potential dominant (who is a gentleman and who wants to take things slowly, without rushing) ‘Hey, want to come to (the equivalent of a play party) with me for our second date? It’ll be a bunch of strangers, and your first introduction into the local community, but hey, it’ll be fun!’. Instinct is telling me this might be a bit much, but I *also* don’t want him to feel like I’m leaving him out. Nor do I want him to feel obligated to come along with me to provide me with somebody to talk to (I won’t know very many of the folks who will be there). I’d like him to be there, to talk to, and I’m not expecting him to engage in play — but again, I think the New Guy would rather enjoy seeing what play is like in a context other than in the privacy of a bedroom.

soc.subculture.bondage-bdsm

Originally posted 2006-06-21 14:52:28.