Blogs, journals, diaries by folks engaged in some aspect of M/f D/s, DD as lifestyle or play

He does a good job of summing things up:

Alex Birch
I am a retired I.T. consultant who writes spanking stories and runs a lively spanking web forum called FLAMING CHEEKS. If you click on the link above you will then be able to access, and then hopefully, join ‘FLAMING CHEEKS’ On this blog I have decided to showcase the material of others so none of the stories here are mine. My own work is available on the ASSTR web site to which there are links within the blog. I am delighted to say that I have met some of my best and dearest friends as a result of my spanking interests so all this spanking activity is a labour of love for me!!.

A Taste of the Birch

Originally posted 2008-02-23 18:59:49.

A new bondage group has been formed that will be of special interest to folks in the Raleigh/Durham and surrounding areas:

Carolina Order of Rope Devotees…and other forms of restraint. We’re excited to launch this new group in central North Carolina.

Carolina Order of Rope Devotees
… and other forms of restraint

Originally posted 2007-11-25 13:45:06.

How just slave helped her Master celebrate His birthday:

So what girl has had to do today has not been easy at all, it’s very painful right now and she still has around two hours to go before it ends. In honor of Master’s Birthday today, girl is having to wear the large anal plug for twelve straight hours, it started at eight this morning and will end at eight tonight, and from this point on the small and medium plugs are no longer allowed with one exception. If girl has to wear one at an after hours work function then Master is allowing her the use of the medium plug, but for that only.

The plug hurt when it was inserted then the pain eased up but that oh so greatly filled feeling remained making girl really wiggle and squirm a lot and Master’s pussy throb and grow wetter. After the first two hours or so girl started having cramps, not just in her bottom around the plug but after a bit they moved up and set into her tummy as well. girl could not sit, she could not stand, she could not lay down, all of which she tried hoping to ease the cramping a bit, all of which failed. By the time four hours hit girl was crying, sobbing tears which only made it hurt worse because she was tensing up so girl turned to the breathing that she uses to get through pain and forced herself to focus the fact that this is what she is doing for Master, for His birthday.

The Common kajira

Originally posted 2006-06-12 23:02:26.

One of the main factors, for me in feeling truly Owned is to be constantly reminded throughout the day of Master’s control. These reminders can be subtle or really obtrusive. The more often a slave is reminded of her submission, the deeper it becomes….and the more fulfilling. So here are some ideas You might want to try… And no matter what rules You decide to make Your own, please….be consistent. If You are unwilling to take the time to enforce the rules You make, then there may as well be no rules at all. There is nothing in the world that will make a slave feel less loved than to have a Master/Mistress who ignores her transgressions and does not exert Their Dominance.

The list: 101 ideas to make Your slave feel Owned (i.e. loved)

Originally posted 2006-11-08 16:19:58.

She writes of the selfishness of D/s:

My submission is selfish. I submit to please him, yes, and I submit also because it brings harmony to our relationship. But primarily, I submit because it pleases me. To be on my knees with his hand at my throat and his lips to my ear whispering filthy names brings me to a condition of rapture. To hear him tell me I’ve pleased him makes me feel good about myself. To be in public with him and to have him suddenly send me a Look that says, “You are mine, girl; act like you know it” gives me comfort.

Does this make my submission any less real? I don’t believe so. Some will say I am simply topping from the bottom. Please, don’t misunderstand me: I submit for my pleasure, but this in no way means that I am in charge. Oz makes the decisions in our relationship. Most of the time he asks for my opinion, but even if I think otherwise, he will get his way. I defer to his judgment because between the two of us, he is the better decision-maker. He is logical to a fault, capable of containing his emotions, and he has the experience to temper his idealism. When I am being punished, or when I stay away from a man Oz is suspicious of even when I see no reason for the doubt, I might not like it. But I know from experience that he is mostly right – which, while annoying, is far better than my track record. So while I might not enjoy his dominance in a particular moment, I submit because it serves my interests in the long run.

His dominance is selfish. Aside from the obvious sexual benefits, he gets a high out of it. It makes him feel good when I give him control and everything turns out right. It is what he does for a living and it is what he likes to do for fun. He enjoys watching me as I grow more and more confident about my abilities. It makes him proud to have been the catalyst to my transformation into someone else. That I enjoy it, too – that it is someone I want to be, is incidental. He gets pleasure from my enjoyment and I from his, and we feed off each other like that in a way that makes us happy.

Love is not selfish. Or is it? Where is the love in the union of two absolutely selfish people? How can I, as a submissive, submit myself to the whims of a man even I recognize is selfish? If I were called a worthless cunt, I would call that abuse. Yet there are people who do it, people who delight in it. You might think a man who wants to scar his submissive a monster, but I enjoy being cut and marked deep enough to leave permanent scars. Where is it abuse, and where is it simply two consenting adults doing what they want to do? When is kink unhealthy?

What makes a relationship like ours differ from abuse is that our interests match. The things that make us happy, the things we want for ourselves, fit perfectly together. Thus his acts of selfishness make me just as happy as they make him, and mine make him just as happy as they make me. For me, this is the best test of a healthy relationship: it serves your individual interests.

I believe not only that most relationships are selfish, but that they should be. Selfishness is a preservation instinct and with good reason. For a submissive to truly live solely for the pleasure of her Master is not only highly unlikely (if not impossible) and overly idealistic – it is unhealthy. It is forsaking her very identity. Anyone acting entirely and only according to another person’s wishes might as well be a robot. People should venture into relationships (of any kind, not just D/s ones, or romantic ones) because it is good for them. Otherwise, the relationship should be severed.

If the Collar Fits

Originally posted 2006-08-01 17:09:34.

A very short summary of how I use the terms: the state towards
which slavery aims is one of control, while the state towards which
submission aims is command. When my dominant commands me, I
then choose to obey; it is my will to carry out the wishes of
my dominant. When a slave receives an order, obedience (in the
state towards which slave aims but will probably only approach,
not achieve) is immediate and unconsidered; the slave’s will is
an extension of zir owner’s, and a slave’s obedience is not
by choice (though of course there was the great choice, which
was to become a slave) and therefore each act of obedience is
not also an act of submission (acts of submission which are,
of course, less than the great act of submission undertaken
when one consents to become the slave to another).

FWIW, in my case these definitions developed in part because
of long debates with TPE types, and the default definition of
slave for me is “TPE slave”. Of course, I quite agree that
“slave” is one of those words that has so many meanings that
by itself it has no meaning, and only after long discussion
with someone can one know what zie means by “slave”.

Link

Originally posted 2006-12-04 16:48:22.

Reply to comments. Repeat: reply to comments.

If someone leaves a comment on your blog give them a response, that will encourage them to return.

If you have a very busy and active group of visitors leaving comments then you may not have the time. But if the comment was worth reading then the person leaving it deserves a response.

Originally posted 2006-09-20 16:45:40.